Swimmingly

Today was a great day. I did a little house cleaning this morning (all three bathrooms are now so clean you can eat off their floors. well until the #1 son goes #1 then all bets are off...) Then we all put on our swimsuits and headed to the local health club. While I got my workout in for the day (yes, I did an afternoon workout, um, hate them!) my husband and the kids swam and swam and swam. We ran into a some friends there and so we swam more. I even put my suit on after my run and lost all track of time until I heard my name being called over the speaker system to return to the childcare center. I guess I was over my time limit and now I have in my permanent membership record a strike against me. Um, O.k.

So things are going swimmingly. I'm exercising, staying on task with food (oh, except for the Pizza I just ate...) I'm feeling like I'm finally getting used to treading the weight-loss waters that I have been staying out of so much lately.

I have continued to track my points, I don't even really feel bad about the pizza. My goal this week wasn't to necessarily stay within the points (though I have) just to be tracking the points that I ate.

I also, this week, have put together a summer racing schedule for myself. It's pretty loose right now. But these are the races that I'm thinking about.

1. May - There's a 5K out our local arboretum. It's a race that I've been wanting to do for a couple of years. This is my year! They also have a little race for the kids. I know my littles will love that.

2. July - a July 4th 10k around the lake I live by. Another race I've been wanting to do.

3. August - This one is a track & trail 10k around another local lakes (what can I say, we've got a lotta lakes) doing a trail run has always interested me. I love camping and the woods. We'll see how I feel about running through them.

4. October - The Twin Cities Marathon 10 miler. They also have a kids race that day also.

So I need two more races. One for June and one for September. Then my season will be planned out! Any ideas?

A slightly water logged Iceman - Out

Dare I?

So Goose and Maverick, is that the Widget kinda thingy that you were thinking about?

Hello World.

Yup, I'm still here.

Nope, I have not ballooned into the Stay-Puff marshmallow man...yet.

What have I been doing? Well, I thought I would use the Q&A format to answer that. I'm assuming (though you know what assuming does) that everyone has approximately the same questions, if you don't see your burning question answered (hardy-har-har) please feel free to ask.

So Iceman, where have you been?

I have been trying to do it all, and not doing any of it particularly well. Let's face it, I'm very busy, I don't get a break when my children leave for school. I don't get some downtime when my children are in quite time. If I'm not teaching, I'm cleaning, or cooking or folding, or.....

How has the exercise and diet been going for you?

Well, do I dare pop my head up, just a little, and say, I've been doing really well for 2 days? Hardly a show stopper but I guess a person has to start somewhere. I'm a Weight Watchers life-er and so, to use my WW jargon, I've been tracking for 2 days and staying within my points. I have decided that is what I'm going to focus on for the next 2 weeks, just tracking, no matter what, no matter what.

Exercise is better. I will repeat my whole life that I am so thankful for my friend Shana and her encouragement and accountability about 5 years ago when we were working-out in the mornings together. It's a habit that I have now and I owe it to her. I've gone a step further in these last couple of weeks and added in a training schedule. For my 36th summer of my life, I want to compete in 6 races. It's a goal I am excited about!

Are you going to do this tri-athalon that your SIL's are doing?

No way man! I can't swim. What? Everyone can swim? Nope, I really can't. I have to be able to touch the bottom at all times or I start to panic and sink. It's all in my head? Well, yes, of course, but, arguably, that's harder to change than the actual skill of learning. Now if they would just allow a boogie board for me to hold on to... Really, it wouldn't give me ANY unfair advantage...

Are you pregnant?

NO! I'm not. Going down that road a 5th time is well, not a down hill road. More like a steep, slippery, rocky, treacherous, mountain pass. Right now I am enjoying my 2 girls and 2 boys. Oh, and the ability to run and exercise and bend at the waist...


So there you have it, that's all I have time for now. The baby is crying, the kids are begging for a snack, the dryer is demandingly beeping...

Iceman Out

Food. month to month.

Goose in.

Food. Can't live with it. Can't live without it.

I am with Maverick these last about 4 days. Exercise is fine. Food is...eh.

I know its my impending cycle. What happens to us women in the impending "time of month"?? I am serious, I am going to start tracking on my calendar this month what goes on with me. When we are done having babies why can't this issue be eliminated? I am scared that in a few years, not only will I have to live with myself from month to month, but with four others who are less mature and more incapable of handling wild mood fluctuations from month to month haha. help.

Maverick always likes to wrap up her downer posts with some kind of full circle inspiration. But I think I will just wallow for a while longer. I can't wait for next week when this insanity is over, only to return in another month. hahaha. its tough being a woman!

oh, and while i am complaining...it is too cold to run this morning. i am so over this cold southern winter. 28 degrees this morning, ridiculous. will try and get out later today if it warms up to 50 as promised. and someone ate all the banana's so i can't have my cereal.

man someone just smack me. hahaha.

goose out.

Ice cream for dinner?

Apparently I can only accomplish one thing at a time.  I am becoming a work out rock star.  I was at the gym 4 times last week, 5 times the week before and likely will get in 5 times this week as well since I am now free on Wednesday mornings.  And I am excited because I really feel like I am getting stronger.  My legs feel firmer and my arms look more defined.  However, I am eating like a pig.

Last night I made a smoothie with ice cream in it for dinner.  Actually I had already had chips and salsa.  We were a divided dinner family so it was easy to just be lazy with my meal.  Isabelle was asleep for dinner and woke up late so I just let her eat a bowl of ice cream for dinner.  No wonder she is a terrible eater.

Although last night was a low point I actually think the main problem is in snacking.  I am eating too many late night snacks and between meal snacks.  I know alot of diet plans call for snacking between meals but I really don't think they work for me.  I need to simply eat my 3 healthy meals a day.  Maybe one snack if I am out running around and going to be eating a late, but nothing after dinner.  That is when I go wrong.  Even healthy snacks can go wrong after dinner.

So I am abandoning the idea of eating some special way, I really feel like I have good meal habits already, and simply focus on not snacking.  With that I feel I can loose the weight I gained over the holidays and be ready to show off my pre-triathlon body when we hit the Florida beach at the end of March.

Maverick flying a little low but still flying.

Hitting a Wall

OK I wasn't going to weight myself today because I knew I had eaten a little too much sugar on two consecutive days of social outtings.  I felt I had really been doing well all of last week so assumed the bad days had balanced it out to nothing.  However, I was feeling so good after my hour long body pump class followed by 30 minutes on the eliptical that I decided to see where I was at...UP 2 POUNDS!  Now all of this was never really about a specific weight loss goal for me as much as just feeling better but on the other hand the plan certainly wasn't to gain weight and since the start of this project I have now gained 4 pounds!  NOW it is about weight loss, I would at least like to be where I started.  This is ridiculous.  Embarassing even.  Normally I like to blame weight gain, especially when I am in a good workout routine, on added muscle.  And I do think I have added muscle since starting body pump probably at a faster rate than I am burning off fat so that can be part of the excuse.  But now I need to burn off that fat to balance all my new muscle weight gain.  My pants have been tighter this past week which I was trying to tell myself was because they were fresh out of the dryer even though they have never been that tight fresh out of the dryer before...So it really isn't fat loss with muscle gain.  It is fat with muscle.  I am also wondering, and was wondering last week, if my portions are too great.  I feel I am eating good stuff but maybe I make too big of salads.  Or put too much goodness into them.  Or maybe I don't need a cup of yogurt with my sandwich.  I think I was feeling like because I was making healthy food I could eat as much as I wanted of it.  Maybe not.

And, I should probably acknowledge that I am getting to that age where metabolism slows down.  I know it slowed down at 29 and I gained quite a bit of weight over a couple years before I pulled it together.  At that time I was totally sedintary and so my body had nothing to do but gain weight.  10 years later I am much more active and the slow down in my metabolism has been much less obvious.  None-the-less it does seem to have arrived and I should probably start thinking differently about portions.

Today I am feeling a bit fat and down.  To make matters worse I am going to Lion's Tap for dinner.  Delicous but likely will not make me feel any thinner.  Tomorrow morning though I am going to hit the treadmill early to cap off 5 days of working out this week.  Back at it Monday with a new dedication to shaping my body into a lean a healthy machine.

Maverick in the beginner class at the flight school but not giving up.

12 pounds!

Yes, I stepped on the scale before my shower the other day and had dropped 2 more lbs, I am dangerously close to my original goal now, like 4 more lbs!

In reflecting on getting back to the body of my 20's, I have really decided to celebrate all this hard work, and own the efforts it took to get me back here.

See, in my 20's I was really thin, even during the baby years, my body just liked pumping out babies, I guess, and was really, really kind to me in the aftermath of the deliveries. I definitely took the body/weight for granted, because in honesty, I don't feel like I did much to get it. Yes I was naturally pretty active, walking everyday with the babies in the stroller, and always naturally ate pretty healthy and really never thought about or obsessed about food...it wasn't a daily choice or struggle, it just happened and so I never had a good answer for when people asked me how I stayed so thin. Good Genes and being young, I suppose! :)

Then...dun, dun, dun duuuuuun....the 30's arrive...I have another baby at 30 which went the same as the first two, but then with the arrival of the 4th at age 32, I think I grew tired...ya think? I guess it was time for my machine-like mentality to cry "Uncle!" Tired, and in my 30's. Overwhelmed. Depressed. Totally inactive. Totally loving chips and cheese and whatever else looked good. Going back for 2nds. Snacking. Wine. Took me 18 months after Grace was born to get back down to my low weight of my 20's. Then, slowly let it creep up again. Then brought it down a bit, then slowly let it creep back up again. Thats where I found myself last fall when I was standing in the dressing room trying on jeans and had my "come to Jesus" moment of clarity and so far have not looked back 12 lbs later! :)

But I will tell you...since that day...I have WORKED MY BUTT OFF! Totally hard. Totally diligently every single day having to choose eating well and exercising consciously. It has not been easy! It is frustrating that it is not easy like it was in my 20's when it was a no brainer. But, somehow it is feeling so much more rewarding right now, because I know I deserve it because i have worked SO HARD for results! And trying to be less critical of the imperfections even when I am thin...yes, my belly button is messed up from my kids, no amount of working out or weight loss is ever gonna put me back in a bikini...yes, I have wolfe thighs that hold on to a layer of blubber for dear life, threatening to mask the build up of muscle underneath...yes, the eyes are wrinkling...the butt is falling...the underarms want to wave at you when my hand does. BUT, I am 37! and I have 4 kids! and I wear a size 4! and I am going to do a sprint triathlon in June! I am doing the best I can. :) I am going to be content with that. :)

The mindset to stay in this game is a daily struggle. Some days are better than others. I totally wish this came without effort, but that is not real life. Not reality. Most all good things come with effort, struggle, sacrifice, especially when we are getting older. :)

I am thinking on touching on depression in a post...anyone interested in my thoughts on that and how these last two months of a much healthier lifestyle have played into my ongoing battles? In a nutshell, it has greatly improved a year long healing process in so many ways. I am so thankful for that, too.

So my "life in flight" girls...one of you is particularly quiet.... :) I want to encourage you to make a decision every day. It is hard. Golly its hard. Some days are failures, for sure. I am slowly learning to not let those failures derail me as I have done in the past. Get back in the game...stay in the game. I think about 2 1/2 months ago and how I looked and felt. Now 2 1/2 months have gone by...some of the days themselves have been hard, but I got through them and kept pursuing the goal and look where I am now! We can do this! In spite of the hard work, it feels so much better than my old mentality of sitting around everyday doing the same thing and expecting a change.

Hang in there my buddies! I love you!
__Goose Out__

It's still happening for the Goose

I am still kicking!

I got really sick a week and a half ago, on New Years Day, but my stubborn self would not allow me to be down because I felt like I had been a wee bit indulgent on New Years Eve and so I kept pushing myself.

Then suddenly this past Fri/Sat/Sun, even though I was better I totally slugged out. No exercise. By Sunday I was eating oreo's!

I phoned a friend who pulled me together and I got back out there Monday for a 3 mile run and was really suprised to find how easy it was. It was like my body enjoyed that 3 day break or something and it produced extra energy in me. Who knew?

So, with the Shred, I have conquered all levels. So now I am doing one level a day, alternating them...level 1, level 2, level 3, repeat. I still think level 2 is harder for me than level 3. I just don't like it. Did it today. Glad I get to do level 3 tomorrow.

Anywhoooo...eating. I find that I am wanting to cave lately but somehow I have been managing not to cave, but the whole desire to cave in my mind makes me feel like I am caving and failing. I am so hard on myself, I know, it is one of my many weaknesses.

I am at the point where I have very noticable results now and feel really good, but still not quite yet there where I can just maintain. I will get there.

Big news is that I am officially committed to my first sprint triathlon down here in the south on June 5th. I have a couple friends who have also signed up and am thrilled that today Maverick signed up and committed to it! Iceman, cometh!!! It is a 1/4 mile swim (equiv of 20 laps in a 25 yd pool), 12 mi bike, 3 mi run. I am pretty excited about it.

That's about it, just keeping on keeping on, trying to not let myself get discouraged by a bad day or a crappy week in my cycle. :) I am in my happy, energy week, so I have to make the most of it...sad that us women only really get one good week a month! hahaha

carry on!

goose out.

Resolutions Revisited

As usual I totally agree and totally disagree with Iceman. I love resolutions. This is my favorite week of the year where I plan out my goals for the next year, determine what I would like to accomplish in the coming year and what I will do to accomplish those goals. But I appreciate that many people do get briefly excited about resolutions only to fail. Maybe the pressure of this one important moment in time is just too much.

I think the difference might be in the word "resolution" vs "goal". To me a resolution is something you "resolve" to do but doesn't necessarily include alot of planning, instead it is accomplished by sheer will. A goal requires planning and is accomplished with a slow stead plodding forward. If I simply resolve to "eat healthier" in 2010 there is no plan with that, no way to know if I am accomplishing my goal and therefore no motivation and nothing to do but fail. If, on the other hand, I decide to drink 8 glasses of water a day by filling up a pitcher at the beginning of each day and putting it by my sink and not going to bed until it is empty then I know what I need to do to accomplish this task and will know if I am successful or unsuccessful in meeting this goal.

Creating a plan to be better in my life gets me excited. And statistically people who have goals tend to accomplish more than people who just simply let life happen to them. Of course I don't accomplish all my goals but if I never had a dream or a plan I would probably be living in a cramped 2 bedroom apartment with my family because we never would have risked some of the career tracks we have been on, I might not have been able to stay home with my children and we certainly would not have taken a mission trip across the world to Africa. As I told my husband a few years ago when he was resisting goal setting talk, "this life did not just happen to us. I planned it!" He has since come to appreciate the difference goal planning makes in our lives even when we don't quite reach a goal. I would rather try and fail, I always end up further ahead than I started no matter how it ends.

SO...Here are a few things I am tossing around as goals for the new year:

I had been toying with training for a fall marathon to commemorate my 40th birthday but am unsure I am willing to commit to the training. Goose suggested an Iron Girl at her place in June and I suggested the same up here in September. This might be a better way to ring in 40 at this point in my life. Maybe I will put the marathon on my 45th birthday when my 4 year old is in school all day.

I recently read about a runner whose goal is to run 1000 miles this year. Not sure I want to run that many but like the idea of deciding on a number of miles I will go this year. It seems like something I could track all year and broken up would give me a sense of how much I needed to do each week. If I got behind I would need to catch up so I could still meet the goal at the end of the year. I might do this one.

I am also considering some ideas for meal planning this year. Creating a system which I am motivated to follow week in and week out is a bit challenging for me. It is easy to come up with ideas but hard to stay consistent with following them. I love it when I come across books where people have challenged themselves in some arbitrary way for a year. I read one about a couple that decided not to buy any consumer items for a year, no new clothes, books, home decor, etc for a year. There is an article in Women's Day this month about a woman who strove to do something to make herself happy every day for a year and of course the movie Julie and Julia about a woman who wanted to cook all the recipe's in Julia Child's cookbook (haven't seen it so I don't know if that was within a year or not but seems like the same idea). So I have been imagining what it would be like if my family committed to not eat out for an entire year. Realistically I know it isn't going to happen but it has me thinking if maybe we could put some parameters around our eating out habits and see what happens to both our health and our budget.

These are just a few thoughts I am having. Of course I can make changes as I see fit, it is my life, my goals, I can do whatever I want. And although I am not going to put Goose's detox plan for next week in my 2010 goals that doesn't mean I am not going to do it. Actually I have already planned out all my meals for January and have excellent choices to go with a detox diet on the list.

I am looking forward to an exciting and healthy 2010 challenging and being challenged by Iceman and Goose.

Happy New Year!

My New Year's Resolutions

I usually shy away (O.k. run away, shrieking) from New Year's resolutions. (For years I have dreaded my local fitness club in January, I have to endure the onslaught of all those New Year's Resolutioner's and then go on to enjoy my workout's for the rest of the year.) I've always thought that they are a waste of time. Why choose a date, that comes around only once a year, to start/ re-start a new habit or goal? So, if I fail, does that mean that I can't start over again until next year? What happens if I decide to tweak the goal/ habit. Am I, in-effect, still failing at my habit/ goal because I didn't accomplish what I had originally set out to do?

Plus, I avoid, like the plague, to do what other people are doing. Why do something that a BILLION other people have tried and failed at? (For instance, being a rock star groupy. There's nothing to set you apart and make you special if you're just another adoring face in the crowd.) Same with New Year's resolutions... I refuse to be a Resolution groupy.

ALSO I know it's the beginning of a new year. But, truly, what is that date the beginning of besides an arbitrary date on a paper calendar?! I can think of much more notable beginnings. The 1st day of school, the 1st day of the new week, the birth of a child, the start of a new day, graduation from highschool, the start of a new job,etc., etc., etc.

So, suffice to say, I won't be making any New Year's resolutions on a cold snowy day, smack dab in the middle of a cold and blustery winter.

Now, not to say that I don't make goals and resolutions. Au contraire! I think that they are quite important and needed in life. This is especially true in MY life.

I'm a stay-at-home Mom. The reality is that I NEED to do very little. I only NEED to make sure some calories are going in my children's mouths and that they have adequate shelter. The rest is a practice in self-discipline. I don't have a boss ready to fire me if I don't get my work done, I know, Mike, but that just proves my point. (He's way too sweet to every fire me) I need to be a self-starter, a self-disciplined, goal oriented person all-by-my-self. Which, unfortunately, I am not. I wish I was one of those self motivating people, but I am, simply, not.

This is where my goals and habits are so important to me. Homeschooling happens because I have a goal. I exercise early in the morning because I've worked on that habit. So I like to make my resolutions weekly, or even daily, sometimes hour-to-hour. For two reasons: One, so I can quickly jump back on that horse. And two, so that I can feel accomplished with just a little amount of work. :)

I, actually, AM looking at and revising my resolution's this time of year. But I am doing this all year long! So you won't catch me calling them my New Year's Resolutions. I just call them "my resolutions" and that gives me the freedom to visit, re-vise, and start over again, all-year-long.

--- Iceman Out---

The Iceman Cometh

I need to watch Top Gun again. I'm sure I could glean some insights into these "handles" we have all chosen. Am I Iceman? Does Iceman slip up and make mistakes? Has he started and stopped so many times that he can't count that high? Well it's definitely me.

Yesterday was a non-start for me. Feeling every one of those 21 hours that it took to get home. I was exhausted. I slept in, didn't work out, and I ate copious amounts of cereal throughout the day. I was so cranky about my failures that by the time my husband got home. I was a bear.

But somewhere in there, my attitude shifted again. Maybe it was the realization that I ALWAYS feel this crappy when I disappoint myself. Maybe it was having to confess to my husband, ONCE AGAIN, why I was so cranky. Maybe it was the guilt of snapping at my children during their marathon of a school day.

Either way. I pulled myself together. I forced myself to make a weekly grocery list, I forced myself to make good food choices on that list, and then I forced myself to get to that grocery store at 7pm and do the weekly grocery shopping.

When I got home the world seemed better. I day that had felt like a total loss was redeemed and I felt very accomplished. I sat down and ate some carrots, pea pods & hummus for my supper and felt very good.

So today is a new day. I got up and ran about 3.5 miles at the club and I've have stayed away from any sweets that are not fruit.

So what is my goal? To rid myself of the sugar noose that is around my neck. I seriously think I am addicted. Seriously. My goal till January 1st (minus 3 days for Christmases) is to eat nothing sweeter than fruit. It's funny, even as I write this I start making exceptions in my brain. "Well I can have one glass of egg nog" is the one that it popping into my head right now. See?! It is a sickness.

I'm ready for this challenge. I'm ready to make GOOD habits that I can rely on each day to get me through.

Iceman out.

This Feels Oddly Familiar

I finally did it!

Arguably, for the 1st time since I have been back to Weight Watchers, I have been successful all week. I didn't snarf down all my extra points with in the 1st few days of my week. I didn't give up and stop counting half way through the week. I kept my head about me and planned for carefully.

My reward? Great weight loss, a "lighter" feeling mentally and physically all week, and the priceless personal satisfaction that, indeed, if I just keep with something, I will begin to succeed.

The extra perk to this fabulous week, is that I did it even though we went camping this weekend. Camping has often been my downfall, but with my parent's help, I was able to track very carefully this weekend. Yeah!!! Praise the Lord!!

Weight Loss this week: -2.6 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -30 lbs
Pounds to reach goal: 27 lbs (THIS feels good! Getting ever so closer)

Monday Night Weigh in #10

Wasn't it the hare that said, "Slow and steady wins the race?" Well I guess that's me this time. It's a frustrating conclusion to come to. But at least it's coming off at all, huh? And really what's the other option, to quit? To give up? I just can't go there. I was my correct weight such a short time ago. The memory is still too fresh of how good it felt to give up now. All that to say, I only lost 1 lb this week, but I'm feeling good about it and I have been sufficiently pumped up from my meeting last night. :)

This week my non-weight goal is to not eat any BLT's. I am SO guilty of taking a bite off a kid's cookie. Or "sampling" the lunch that I'm making for the kids. Today has been good so far. As with everything in my life, I'm posting it on my refrigerator so that I'm reminded multiple times a day. :)

wk #10:
Weight Loss this week: -1.2 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -17.4 lbs
Pounds to reach goal: 38.8 lbs (THIS feels good! Less than 40 lbs?! That's do-able!)

Monday Night Weigh in #9

I can't believe that I have been doing this for 9 weeks now! These weeks just seem to have flown by. I'm so thankful that I have been on the Weight Watchers these past months. And even though the progress has at sometimes been frustratingly slow, I'm glad that I don't have those 15 lbs still on my body.

This last week went fairly good. I still found myself indulging when I shouldn't have. But overall I kept my head and didn't fall off any deep ends. And I didn't let the "pendulum" swing in the wrong direction this week. Hopefully this week heralds a better weight loss efforts to come.

Oh, and we had a new leader this week! Finally a good one! She was funny, engaging, relevant. But then she said that she is only going to be here for the next two weeks, and then doesn't know if she is going to be our permanent leader of not. Ugh. I really like her, I hope that she stays.

wk #9:
Weight Loss this week: -1.6 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -16.2 lbs
Pounds to reach goal: 40

Monday Night Weigh in #6 & #7 & #8

The road of weight loss is a winding and bumpy road. After Lilia's birth I was so focused on losing weight. You could've put my FAVORITE food (Apple Fritter donuts...) in front of me and I would've been rock solid in my resolve. You couldn't GET me to cheat.

This time that tunnel vision isn't as strong. I DO get tempted by things. I let my emotional eating rear it's ugly head, sometimes I sneak some B.L.T.'s (Bites, Lickes, & tastes) from my kids plates.

But this is real life. I'm not always going to WANT to eat right. This is where I learn to be disciplined and do it even when I don't feel like it. I think this trip down the weight loss road is more realistic than last time. Last time I was the uber loser. This time I'm just living life. Trying to eat appropriately and take care of myself. So with that dire intro. here are my stats for the last couple of weeks. :)

So wk #6:
Weight Loss this week: -2.2 lbs (This was the start of my pattern. I would slack off the week before and pay for it on the scale. So then really stick to the plan the next week and then have this kind of weight loss.)
Total Weight Loss: -13.2 lbs
Pounds to reach goal: 43

So wk #7:
Weight Loss this week: +.6 lbs (See that pattern that I was talking about?! :( )
Total Weight Loss: -12.6 lbs
Pounds to reach goal: 43.6

So wk #8:
Weight Loss this week: -2 lbs (The pendulum is swinging once again)
Total Weight Loss: -14.6 lbs
Pounds to reach goal: 41.6

My very important goal this week is to lose weight again. I don't even really care how much. Just that I keep on a the decline.

Monday Night Weigh in #5

So it was a pretty discouraging week this week. I don't exactly know what I did wrong, I tracked my food, I stayed within my points range. It sure didn't show up on the scale though. I actually had a gain. Eeek, what that won't do to bring you down. And with that came the realization that my new leader is very different from my old leader. My old leader would've said, "So what do you think went wrong this week?" And give you the good ole' pep talk one needs after such a blow. But this leader, nice as she is, said nothing. It was even this uncomfortable silence once my weight came up. I want my Karen back!!! Ugh! Anyway, I know this drill. After an internal pep-talk I am re-grouping and feeling good about it all. I took some definable steps of planning out exactly what I will be eating this week and ridding the house of any temptations, even Weight Watcher approved temptations. There are no thoughts of giving up, I am in it for the long hall!

So wk #5:
Weight Loss this week: +.4 lbs (It's O.k. It's O.k. I won't lose heart!)
Total Weight Loss: -11.8 lbs
Pounds to reach goal: 45.2

Monday Night Weigh In #3 & #4

Wow, have I really missed two weigh ins? I haven't skipped any weigh-in's at Weight Watchers. But the fact of 4 kids and homeschooling has really started to put a cramp in my blogging style!

So week #3 went REALLY well. Partly because I got the stomach virus that week and didn't eat for two days. I focused on that week to not go overboard when I did start to eat. I made sure that I started counting again right away. I was afraid I would get completely de-railed and start eating what ever I wanted.

So wk #3:
Weight Loss this week: -5.2 lbs (Stomach bug will do that to ya!!)
Total Weight Loss: -11.4 lbs
Pounds to reach goal: 45.6

This week was a struggle. I'm not sure why. I think it was a combination of being hungry after the stomach bug, and emotional eating from feeling overwhelmed at times. I was nervous that I was actually going to show a gain this week because, lets face it, most of the weight loss last week was due to dehydration. I didn't even want to go tonight, but I'm so glad that I did. The meetings truly are therapy for me. I walked in feeling discouraged and left with renewed focus and resolution. I remembered how far I've come in this one short month and also that I am not hungry with this way of eating. I can fill up and be satisfied. As far as the emotional eating goes, I read a excerpt from one of the Weight Watchers pamphlets that said, "I always remember that when I eat that donut, it leaves me with nothing but wanting to eat another one." That's so true.

So wk #4:
Weight Loss this week: -.8 lbs (phew! Actually had a loss.)
Total Weight Loss: -12.2 lbs
Pounds to reach goal: 44.8

Monday Night Weigh In #2

Things went well last night.

The meeting was about managing your emotional eating. That was a GREAT talk for me. I think I eat for all the emotions that I have! Boredom, exhaustion, discontentedness, happiness, etc. etc.

I think that biggest habit, hurdle, I have to get over is wanting to eat in the afternoons. It's usually after a big morning and all the kids have finally gone down for a quiet time. I just want to do something fun, relax, and treat myself. Which usually means food in front of the computer. At the meeting last night the leader gave an example of a friend of her who had a similar habit. So she switched to popcorn for a snack (didn't try to get rid of it at first) and then after awhile eating the popcorn each snack time. She made herself wait for just a bit. So I thought I would try that this week. The 1st couple days, I'm going to eat popcorn, and then slowly try to push back my time. Say in 15 min increments. That was I'm not instantly sitting down, looking for a treat. We'll see how it goes!!!

So wk #2:
Weight Loss this week: -2 lbs (Yeah!!)
Total Weight Loss: -6.2 lbs
Pounds to reach goal: 50.8

Monday Night Weigh In

Last night I braved the harsh cold and snow storm to get to my WW meeting. Am I dedicated or what?!!! I was only of about 10 people there. But I did it.

WW each week has a topic that all the leaders talk on. This week it was hunger and how to manage it. I've been thinking about that issue on my own this week because I've been realizing something about myself. When I get to famished, it takes A LOT of food to get me comfortable again. Where if I'm just slightly hungry, just a little food will keep me satisfied. So, for me, the key is to make sure I don't get REALLY hungry, because then I eat too much food and it all falls apart.

This WW leader asks us to have a goal for the week that isn't, "lose 'x' amount of weight" so my goal is going to be to choose filling foods. That way I'll hopefully be able to keep the hunger in check and I won't be looking for another snack minutes after I ate the 1st.

Weight Loss this week: 4.2 lbs (Yeah!!)
Total Weight Loss: 4.2 lbs
Pounds to reach goal: 52.8 (Ugh, I sure let pregnancy get to me!)

Goals...

So why blog about this struggle of mine. Well it's twofold. One - I would love a record of the foods I've been eating, the recipes that I love, and the workouts that I enjoy. Two - Accountability and camaraderie. I have no idea if I'll even tell anyone about this blog. But if I do. :) I know I will have friends to help me on my way.

I'm going to categorize this blog into the following categories:

Weekly meetings - I go to meetings each Monday. So after that I will post my weight loss/gain (hopefully not) for the week. This will be where I also post any great weight loss nuggets that ring true for me from the meeting. Those leaders have some "forehead hitting" words sometimes. And any purchases that I made at Weight Watchers that I think are helpful.

Recipes & Food Ideas - What is weight loss with out the recipes. Most will be simple, I am a mother of four now. But some will be just so yummy it's worth the extra time spent. Also I will post what I'm snacking on (snacks are big for me) and what my breakfast and lunches consist of. Those two meals are really what make or break my eating habits.

Encouragement - I am a Bible thumpin', salvation by faith, Jesus Freak. I think His word is completely applicable to my personal life right now. Even though weight loss isn't specifically mentioned in the Bible, ( I don't think so, I could be wrong) weight loss falls under the more general catagory of striving to be less wordly and more like Jesus, which the Bible has A LOT to say about. Don't know what I mean? Just keep following my blog. I will try my best to explain.