My first epic failure. I stared temptation in the eye, and lost.
Turns out, I am human after all.
I have been feeling weak resolve all afternoon. Its the ovulation, it makes me voracious.
Then, husband brought home Zaxby's chicken tenders and Zaxby's special sauce (picture Homer Simpson salivating while moaning in pleasure here). The girls started attacking. I hovered back. Then thought...I have been so good, working out so hard, I could have one...or two. Just "dab" the sauce lightly on each piece. One piece. Two pieces. I step back. Control yourself, woman! The girls finish and there are two more pieces left. And lots of sauce. I go in for the kill. Yum. Really Yum.
I want to give myself 50 lashes and mentally trash myself with character assasinating thoughts. But, this is a good thing, right? Because, I tend to become insane during these little episodes of pulling myself together. A machine. Focused. Resolved. Neurotic. Control Freaky. I scare everyone around me.
So, I will just tell myself...yum! That was fun! And get back out there tomorrow with my exercise and eating well and not let it derail me. And to also pay attention to the fact that my stomach feels pretty yucky right now since it hasn't had any kind of greasy, fatty, gross stuff in 17 days. So, while the moments of the food passing by the tastebuds was delightful, ultimately is it really worth it? So many good for you foods offer the same taste delight without the tummy yuck.
I will not let this derail me. I saw this coming from about 4pm on today. If it wasn't the Zaxby's it would have been something else in the house. Darned ovulation, messing me all up!
Maverick, Iceman...I need you! I'm free-falling! Save Goose! Save Goose!
--Goose, out--
Exactly the lesson isn't it? We feel terrible after eating the bad food but somehow choose to block that out when faced with the temptation. Famous Dave's buffalo chicken wings. Love them. Always in pain afterward. Chai tea Latte. Way too much sugar and dairy for me. Stomach ache. But so good. Why don't we look at these foods and think "pain" instead of "yum"?
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, you are doing fine. It isn't a the end of the world. Just stay on the path and keep going.
When I was quitting caffeine years and years ago I clearly remember laying on the couch the week before my period chanting in my head, "I want a coke, I want a coke". I could not move or function. That is all I thought. I perservered through the hormonal disturbance and never struggled that much again. I really believe that the 28 day habit phenomenom has to be related to our cycles and sticking with something through all the variations of our homonal balance.
Can you cheat again? "negative ghost rider the pattern is full". :)