GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..........

--Goose, in--

It was a bad morning.

A verrrrrrrry bad morning.

I woke to rain and heard on the radio that it would continue all day long. How am I supposed to work off those four Zaxby chicken tenders and Zax special sauce?

Then the willful child melted down on the floor of the kitchen for 1/2 hour over her pants while I scrambled to help everyone get ready.

Then the dog pooped in the family room. And, yes, I kicked her, sue me.

As I was getting more agitated I flung open the pantry door to grab a ziploc baggie and knocked over an open box of thin spaghetti...spilled all over the floor.

It is the middle of my cycle and I feel particularly unstable with controlling my emotions.

The willful one continues to be excessively difficult, and then it happened. I snapped. And it was a spectacular snapping.

By the time I stormed to the car everyone was thoroughly upset. I sped them to school and the older ones got out with a look of disgust and contempt for me on their faces. A sweet face who loves the willful one and was ushering in the kids stood there and I told her the willful one might need some love from her, but to not hold against me whatever she says about me this morning.

I speed home.

But this blog isn't about my stellar parenting skills, its about exercise and eating healthy, so lets get to it...

I decide on my way home that I need to get a grip, and really, is it raining so hard? I could just take a quick brisk walk in it to get my heart pumping and my mind cleared and then go straight to the Shred.

I lace up, and don a raincoat, zipped to the top and hood up and head out. Not so bad. Refreshing, really. Its blowing a little and hitting my face, but, hey, its invigorating! Does the rain seem a bit heavier all of the sudden? Up ahead I see a lone walker with her dog. As we pass eachother I wonder if she had a bad morning too, or if she was just a really good dog owner, braving the elements for her dogs daily walk. I settled for "glad to see I am not the only insane person out today!" She laughed and commented that the rain had gotten significantly harder.

I am contemplating turning back as I notice the rivers flowing down the sides of the roads. Where at first I felt certain that I would be seen by passing cars as "charmingly insane", now, instead I feared I will be judged "institutionally insane". But then it seems to lighten just a bit. I decide to finish the loop and keep going.

I start to pray. Confess what an ogre I was this morning, how I am sure my pre-teen is at school thinking about what a psycho, out-of-control mother I am--because that is what I'd think about my mom when she'd lose it--ask God to help me have control over my hormonal upheaval every month, and then sensed the message from the Lord that I am to set a humble, human example to my children and go over to the school later and pull each child out of class to apologize to them, hug them and tell them I love them.

Feeling fresher I finally see my home in sight. I am on the main road now and many cars are passing on their way to work. I dread the potential for a good puddle splash right at the tail end of the walk. But, who am I kidding, at this point I am soaked to the skin anyway.

I make it home and peel off my pants which could have been wrung out if I so chose. I quick change and head downstairs to be brutalized by Jillian on level 2 of shred. I hate level 2. This was my 3rd day of it and I still don't like it. I hated Jillian today.

But now I am done! I did it! I worked out and its finished. Yay me, I can't believe I persevered with my bad attitude this morning. I drank a glass of water, had a bowl of Uncle Sams with frozen berries, and am now blogging with a cup of coffee.

It is now time to shower, clean myself up and get over to the school to give my precious kids some hugs.

--Goose, Out--