400 pound slob

I felt this blog was a little lonely.  I mean nothing posted since July?  Have we fallen that far?  I know Goose did a second triathlon in early September.  Nothing about that?  I know Iceman is pregnant so she has a brief pass but we will all look forward to her words of inspiration soon.

So I thought I would contribute again.  Just to keep it going.

I am a 400 pound slob.  Or at least I would secretly like to be one.  I really want to give into the lazy, gluttonous person inside me, sit down on the couch with a pint of ice cream and never get up again.  I never want to go on another run, never want to lift another weight, never want to do another sit up.  I don't want to push myself.  I don't want to work exercise into my schedule.  I don't want to think about what to eat or not eat.  Just mindlessly pop whatever is in front of me in my mouth.  That is what I want!

Then again I see people who have given into that same desire and I wonder.  How can they go around like that?  Don't they know how unhealthy they are?  Don't they know they are shortening their lives?  Don't they know they don't have to be sick or unhealthy?  Don't they know they can look and feel good?  Isn't it worth it to them?  Aren't they worth it to themselves?  I saw a woman walking into Target the other day that was quite obese.  You know when the fat starts hanging down from the lower part of your stomach?  She wasn't that old.  And I just wondered if she was doing anything about her weight or if she had just given up and was living like that.

I don't want to give up.

I realize on the one hand there is a lot of distance to cover between the 130 pounds I would like to be forever and the 400 pounds that would have me with fat hanging down to my knees but on the other hand is there really?  Just like staying thin is a daily decision to control portions and drag myself out of bed for a morning run or a yoga video becoming an unhealthy person is a daily decision not to.  I loose weight one day at a time and I gain weight one day at a time.  Gaining weight is as much of a decision as loosing weight.  I either decide to do something or I decide to do nothing.

Lately I have been deciding to do nothing with exercise.  After such a great year last year and the triathlon I have sort of fallen apart.  I kept up most of the summer but this fall it all fell apart.  The eating has been better and kept my weight balanced but I know it is time to put them both together again.  To decide that my health is worth the effort.  I am worth the effort.  I don't have to kill myself.  I am not training for anything right now but I do need to keep going.

Actually I am training for something.  After Goose and her friend H had done their second triathlon together the continued their morning work out routine.  One morning Goose's husband came by and asked, "what are you training for now?"  H replied, "Life".  That is what I am training for now.  Are you training with me?